Thursday, March 17, 2005

Explanations, Apologies and Eulogies

Death is something that the elderly have to face every day of their lives. Count your blessings, kids.

I recently was let out of the hospital, thus my extended absence and neglect of this blog. As it turns out, I am ill. After years of casual drinking and the occasional cigar, my body finally decided to go to the crapper. Good riddance.

I finally decided to put a picture of myself up here. I didn't want to offend the youngsters out there with a wrinkly old man, so I drew myself in a speedy little wheelchair. Don't I look like I'm having fun? Just wait a few years, then you'll get to have as much fun as me.

I also decided to change the title of the blog. "Grandpa's Blog" was a title that my grandson stuck on there. I didn't exactly like it, it didn't reflect the cheerful nature of this forum, so I changed it accordingly.

Oh, I'm sure you'd like to know what's new with everyone's favorite senior citizen. I didn't have a lot to do at the hospital last week. My wife is dead and my family lives far away, so grandpa had to sit around by himself. I talked to the nurses when they came to take care of me. I read the newspaper a lot. Great news, America, we're going to drill for oil in Alaska!

As if it wasn't enough that we're going overseas to kill people we've never met to take their oil, we decided to go to one of the few pure places in this country to rip apart mother earth in search of black liquid so our cars can fart around and polute the air. It shouldn't be too long before all of this black liquid is gone, and what will we be left with? That's right, kids, a torn up earth and our Nintendos. Enjoy it while it lasts, because I'll be dead soon enough, and you'll be stuck with a disaster-course-vessell with a madman at the healm. Have a great week!

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