Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Showing Up with Bells On

Greetings World,
My grandson Eric started a blog for me, wanting to hear from me more often because I don't check my E-Mail often enough with the computer that they bought me. I'm still kind of hazy as to what a blog actually is, but he showed me how to put things online using this service and it seems easy enough.

In case you're not familiar with me, my name is Claude Peace Jr. There is no Claude Peace III because my wife assured me that Claude was a very ugly name and was not worth passing down. I no longer have a wife because she's very dead now. I rarely see anybody because I live far enough away from my family and I'm just pessimistic and grumpy enough for them to want to narrowly avoid seeing me whenever the chance arrises.

I am much too old to be using the Internet, but I feel obligated since my kids bought me this flashy new computer. I was very disappointed it didn't get cable.

I'm a rare breed of American, meaning that I give a shit about the world that we live in. Well, that's not entirely true anymore, about 20 years ago I figured out that the world was completely doomed. I've told a few people that and they always look at me like I'm completely crazy. Well, when you're stuck on the television 8 hours a day anything seems a little bit like a fairy tale.

What is true that in the next few decades we will be running out of fossil fuel. I'll be dead by then, but chances are that you won't, and therefore it is your problem. Enjoy that.

For the last 150 years or so, we have been digging thousands of holes in the ground to get precious black goop so we can pour it into metal boxes that scoot around and fart poison. Our habitat has been completely polluted by these emissions, and now we're running low on goop, so we're going overseas and dirtying our hands with foreign affairs so we can drive converted military Utility Vehicle monstrosities to pick our kids up from baseball practice.

Well, enough whining, chances are you stopped reading this by now anyways because I don't have a picture of boobs on my page or anything. When I figure out how to put boobs on my page, I'll do so, but until then it's black font and a grumpy old man.

But soon I'll be dead, and I just felt like bothering you until then.

Your new buddy,
Claude Peace II

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